Expectations

Is it difficult to maintain one’s faith in God when things go badly in life? Trials certainly test a believer’s faith and it may be tempting to ask, “God, why did you let this happen after all those years of Christian service and church attendance?” Maybe we have tried to live as a Christian, giving up all of the vices, tithing, and doing good deeds, only to have hard times in life cause us to wonder if it was worth it. This “Christian thing” doesn’t seem to make a difference, life is still bad, so I may as well live like I please and forget about God. It appears He forgot about me. Has anyone ever had thoughts like these? Why do some people hold onto faith in God like a lifeline, while others toss it aside with disgust?

This is a complex issue and a simple answer would be trite; however, one component in the mindset of those who choose to retain their faith involves expectations. These form part of a person’s philosophical outlook on life. These perspectives that color our perception of events often take the form of imperatives such as “should” or “must”. For example, “everyone I meet should like me” or “circumstances must always turn out good.” Other beliefs can include “It’s unfair that life is difficult”, “I deserve to be happy”, and so on. Clinical Psychologist Albert Ellis developed rational-emotive therapy (RET), which is based on the theory that irrational beliefs are a cause of distress in life. This is not new: 1st century philosopher Epictetus allegedly stated, “Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view that they take of them.” The imperatives in our cognitive belief system (“should” and “must”) are generally followed by perceived outcomes or cognitive distortions, such as catastrophizing. For example, “If something bad happens in life, it is a catastrophe.” For this mindset, there is often no middle ground, situations are good or bad, black or white.

Aaron Beck, father of cognitive therapy, listed typical cognitive distortions, some of which include:
• Overgeneralization - making a broad statement based on one, or a few, instances
• Polarized thinking - separating life events into only positive or negative, either a success or total failure
• Selective abstraction - pulling one event out of context to arrive at an erroneous interpretation
• magnification or catastrophizing - as the name suggests, is like turning an ant hill into Mount Everest
• Heaven’s reward fallacy - the expectation that our sacrifice and self-denial will pay off, as if someone is keeping score. We feel bitter when the reward doesn’t come.

So, how can irrational beliefs be countered? Books have been written on these topics, but we'll be brief here. The first step is to recognize and admit the problem by thinking about what we’re thinking about. We need to act as our own counselor and ask ourselves leading questions, such as “If X happens, will the world really end?” or “Because X happened, is my life over?” The irrational beliefs – and logical conclusions – must be disputed with reason. A second step involves changing our language, even if it is only in our head. For example, “should” and “must” can be replaced by more reasonable language, such as “If X happens, it will be difficult, but my life will not end and God will help me to recover.” As a caveat here, it is understood that some people go through very difficult circumstances in life and this is certainly not meant as a quick solution.

Concerning the issue of expectations, a man who lived long ago and suffered many difficulties said: “Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” This was spoken in response to the man’s wife who instructed him to “Curse God and die”. This is exactly what the enemy of our soul tells us when things go bad: “Curse God, He’s not helping you. If He even exists, He let you down.” As Al Pacino said to Keanu Reeves in The Devil’s Advocate, God is “an absentee landlord”, not really helping people. But Job did not accept that irrational reasoning and, instead, “Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God” (Job 1:22). The matter of expectations is vital. If we expect life to always be good, it will be easy to lose faith when things go badly. But, even Jesus did not promise an easy life: “In this world you will have trouble” (John 16:33). James stated, “Consider it all joy … when you encounter various trials” (James 1:2) and Peter wrote, “In this you greatly rejoice … you have been distressed by various trials” (1 Peter 1:6). If we expect difficulties at times in life, our faith will not be destroyed when they come. And, we have the promises that God will take us through the trials and reward perseverance. King David expected trouble at times: “Many are the afflictions of the righteous”, but he also expected help from above – “but the Lord delivers him out of them all.” After Jesus warned his disciples to expect trouble in the world, He said, “take courage; I have overcome the world."

As a man thinks in his heart?

“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he”, states the Bible in Proverbs 23:7. Sermons have been preached and doctrines taught on the concept that we become what we think in our heart. Even the Buddhist philosophy admonishes “right thinking” as one component of the eight-fold path. However, other translations of this portion of Proverbs convey a different meaning: “for he is the kind of man who is always thinking about the cost” (NLT 2007, NIV 1984, ESV 2001). In fact, this translation seems to fit more accurately with the context of the passage. Reading the verses immediately preceding and following 23:7 indicates the writer is cautioning the reader when associating with a selfish person:
“Do not eat the bread of a selfish man, or desire his delicacies; for as he thinks within himself, so he is (for he is the kind of man who is always thinking about the cost). He says to you, ‘Eat and drink!’ But his heart is not with you. You will vomit up the morsel you have eaten, and waste your compliments.”
This hardly seems like positive encouragement for us to become what we think in our heart.

This passage advises us to be careful when with certain types of people because they are not what they appear to be on the surface. The clause “as he thinks within himself, so he is” warns that this man’s inner thoughts are different from the deceptive false front he presents. These verses do not teach the power of positive thinking. In fact, the deceptive man mentioned in this verse acts differently from his inner thoughts.

But, is the concept still accurate and is it supported in other passages of the Bible? Actually, there is less Biblical support than one might think. In fact, several biblical passages that mention thinking lead to different outcomes. For example, Jesus said, “whoever has, to him more shall be given; and whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has shall be taken away from him” (Luke 8:18). The thoughts of this person obviously did not lead to action. Paul similarly mentioned positive cognitions that failed to benefit this person: “For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself” (Galatians 6:3). Again, here is a person who thinks he is something he is not, in contradiction to the common meaning attributed to Proverbs 23:7.

But wait, doesn’t the Bible state that we speak what the heart believes? Yes, there is some biblical support for that; for example, Jesus connects the heart with speech (Matthew 12:34, 15:18). So, what is in the heart (mind) will at some time leak out of the mouth. And, we know from experience that belief can determine behavior. But, that is not always sufficient - as James points out, we show belief by actions (James 2:17-18). So, thoughts and beliefs do not automatically lead to the behaviors we desire. Thinking – and even believing – must be followed by conscious decisions to put them into practice in reality.

On the other hand, psychology does seem to support the concept that thoughts can lead to behaviors. Much of the basic theory of cognitive psychology is derived from the notion that thoughts determine the interpretation of events, which lead to feelings, which can then determine behavior. Aaron Beck, the father of cognitive psychology wrote: “In cognitive therapy it is generally maintained that beliefs have a profound impact on feelings and behaviors.” [1] Though, psychologists will often employ behavioral techniques enabling clients to follow accurate thinking with appropriate action.

The bottom line here is the importance of considering the context and proper translation of biblical passages, especially when basing an entire doctrine on one or two verses of dubious clarity. Mistakes have been made in other areas similar to this (e.g., baptism for the dead and faith of God). Furthermore, we should not take for granted what we have been taught; rather, “examine everything carefully, hold fast to that which is good” (1 Thess. 5:21).

[1] Aaron T. Beck, Fred D. Wright, Cory F. Newman, and Bruce S. Liese, Cognitive Therapy of Substance Abuse (NY, NY: The Guilford Press, 1993), 169.